like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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