Why are handjobs necessary in class?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize