Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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