No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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