I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
