she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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