Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
