scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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