she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
