it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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