Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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