i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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