I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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