Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Four minutes until I can fart!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
