OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The power of my boobs compel you
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
