Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize