Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
