Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
