And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize