used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
