We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
