i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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