The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
