im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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