No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
