Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
