I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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