He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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