I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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