Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I didn't notice because vodka
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
