the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
