Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
