drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im six kinds of drunk right now
is wine microwaveable?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
