Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
