Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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