Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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