well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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