And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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