Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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