Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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