all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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