Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
