My liver just broke up with me...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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