the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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