Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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