So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
