so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
