This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
