I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
