We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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