Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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