Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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