She said her name was "party"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
