Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
