spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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