Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
