Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
