no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
