Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
