overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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