have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the condom got lost in my hair
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
