Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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