Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize