Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
