so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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