Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
