i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
