Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I will pee on everything he values.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
