therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
