So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
