It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
