my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize