there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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