Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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